Tinkertoyitis

This story is actually from December 2009, but it is still talked about within our family so I thought it good to share as my first post! Alex was 4 and a half and in preschool at the time.

"What is Tinkertoyitis?" you ask? Well it may be a new diagnosis, and our beloved Alex was it's victim. Here is the cautionary tale of the discovery of this new disease . . .

Sunday night Alex goes pee before going up to bed with Joel. Joel comes in to report to me that it looked like there might have been a bit of blood at the end of Alex's peeing. Concerned, but not rushing to negative conclusions, both of us agreed that since Alex complained of no pain and appeared in excellent health, we'd see if it was just punch he drank at the work party we'd been to earlier that day.

Monday night, Alex comes running into the living room from the bathroom to declare to everyone that red drops came out of his penis! I rushed in and was relieved to see he had not peed red, but yes indeed, the tell-tale drips that all boys seem to leave on the toilet seat were indeed red! "To the Doctor tomorrow!" declared Mama and Daddy, both of us suspecting urinary tract infection and feeling proud of our diagnostic skills.

Tuesday morning I stayed with Alex and got a nice early appointment, our Doctor agreeing that blood in pee is not a good thing, nor anything to be taken lightly. Alex, still in excellent spirits, is excited to go because he says "I don't like red stuff coming out of my penis."

Upon arriving at the doctor Alex got to pee in a cup for the first time (and adventure for me too!) and we waited to hear the results. Dr. Deb, the same wonderful, calm and non-judgmental woman who delivered Alex (and Jack), had us come in and said that the test came back negative, no trace of anything nasty in Alex's pee. She then asks, so delicately - "does Alex ever 'explore' or play with himself? ever put things down his pants?" I IMMEDIATELY envisioned how Alex had the head of his beloved duck Quack Quack down his pants the other morning, and the frequency with with he shoves his Tinkertoy weapons down his pants and answered Dr. Deb quietly with a "he does put things down his pants." Alex, meanwhile, is climbing on the examination table and asking what the stirrups are for (grown up ladies was the answer - not for putting your arms in, as Alex thought).

So Dr. Deb and I agree that Quack Quack, being a stuffed duck, was unlikely to actually bite Alex, but Tinkertoys down the pants could cause a tiny scrape that might bleed just a bit at the end of a good pee. "Alex, come on over so we can check out your penis" our doctor said, and I pulled down his pant so Dr. Deb could look for any signs of "trauma." While nothing was obvious, Alex and I were reminded that the skin of the penis is very fragile and can bleed just a bit very easily when Tinkertoys are thrust down one's pants in the midst of a battle with the wily 6 year old older brother!

"Alex" I explain "you can't put your Tinkertoys down the front of your pants any more, or in your PJ's."

"Why?" asked Alex, looking concerned.

"Well, remember how you said you don't like the red stuff coming out of your penis? That happened because you scraped yourself and it made you bleed. If you don't want the red stuff, you have to keep the Tinkertoys out of your underwear; do you understand?"

Alex nods and whispers in my ear "can I put them down the back of my pants?"

Best $10 co-pay I've made to the Doctor!!