Tall Tales of Grandpa

On the way home with boys tonight Alex once again said something about Jack being "weird." I didn't even have to say anything about not using "hurt words" as Jack jumped right in and the following conversation ensued.

JACK: Alex, you have been saying that ever since Grandpa and Grandma Joyce last came to our house.

ALEX: Have not!

JACK: Yes you have!! You kept telling Grandpa he was weird and he said you were weird, and you'd say you weren't and he was. Grandpa is NOT weird - if Grandpa is weird than you are too.

ALEX: I said he was weird because he kept sitting on us!

JACK: Yeah, well I like it when he sits on us, it's funny.

ALEX: I can't breathe when he sits on me - he's too big and I'm too little. You really like it?

JACK: I do, it's funny! I also like trying to eat his thumb.

ALEX: Yeah, I like that game - I almost got it once!

JACK: I did bite it - but not hard.

ALEX: That's good, we shouldn't hurt Grandpa, even if he does sit on me.

Okay - let me just say that I have NEVER seen my father-in-law sit on either boy. He plays with them, they laugh and tickle, but NEVER have I seen all this sitting and finger biting they both talked about in such detail. I will have to keep my eyes open when they get here at the end of the week . . .

Synonyms & Wally

This morning Jack and Joel went out for the first day of youth hunting season. When they left at 6ish in the morning, Alex crawled into bed with me and I thought that meant I might get to sleep until 7am or maybe even 7:30, snuggling with my Bander-Bear. **sigh**

At about 6:20am Alex says "Mama, get your butt out of bed."
I reply, "WHAT did you just say to me?"

Alex - Mama, PLEASE get your butt out of bed.

Me - Alex, I'm not getting up if you are going to talk to me like that.

Alex - uh, uh, Mama, PLEASE get your toukas out of bed?

Me - ALEX!

Alex - Mama! PLEASE get your gluteuus maximus out of bed?

At this I had to laugh - I mean, he was trying . . .

So later in the day we went on an "adventure" with our friend Andrea and her son Evan, who is a year younger than Alex (he just turned 5). In the backseat of our car they were singing some song about butts, to which both us Mom's demanded a total cease and desist or NO CANDY when we got to our destination (which was Chutters, the world's longest candy counter, to get decorations for Jack's birthday cake next week).

After a pause, Evan began singing, sort of to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman," his own song called "Wally, the big Green Monster." Alex asked if Wally's real name is the BIG green monster, to which I said I didn't think so, but since he is big, the song made sense to me.

Evan then declared that Wally had no butt. Andrea said she figured he did since any creature that can sit has a "back end." From here there was no saving the conversation.

Evan: You know, if Wally has a butt, then Wally has a penis.

Alex: Yup, he does, he has penis.

Evan: If he has a butt, he has a penis. He has a weiner.

Me: Okay then, that's enough.

Andrea (clearly TRYING to change the focus of the conversation): Evan, do you remember Mimi & Bumpa's (her folks) weiner dog?

Evan: Yes, he had a penis on his back.

Alex: That sounds like a very weird dog.

Andrea: Honey, Mackenzie was a girl dog.

Evan: Oh, that means she had a gyna.

Alex: Yes, girls have gynas - even girl dogs.

Me: Okay then - so what candy do you want to find at the candy counter?

Seriously - there was no saving the conversation but for the fact that we got to the store and then everyone was distracted by seriously, the longest candy counter in the world.

Jack will have a very cool cake (underwater scene with candy chocolate rocks for the sand, green licorice seaweed, gummy fish, sharks and lobsters) and I know A LOT more about Wally the Green Monster then I ever thought I needed to know (and this coming from a life-long Red Sox fan).

Spring is Springing!

April is coming in full of the promise of spring. For Alex, this means he doesn't feel he should have to wear "real coats," but instead can use his beloved zip-up sweatshirt collection for all outdoor needs. This child has at least 4 zip-up sweatshirts (thank you Aunt Noelle for the 2 he got at Christmas!), but when he wears one to school and one to bed (don't ask, we don't know why), we are constantly washing them. I fear this weekend will send me to the store in search of more so we can avoid frantic morning searches of "Where is my sweatshirt? Mama, is it clean? Tell me my green one is clean!"

While the beginning of this week was full of rain, EVERYONE has been talking about the warm weather coming at the end of the week. Seriously - really spring like weather - 70's and sunny! Last night as I put the boys to bed Alex was literally writhing in his bed saying "I can't sleep Mama, I'm so excited for tomorrow!" I asked why, not thinking of the weather forecast, "MAMA - it's going to be like 100 degrees tomorrow! It will be like summer! I'm going to wear my tank top and my sweatshirt and maybe I can even take it off at recess!"

He did finally get to sleep, but the first words out of his mouth this morning were "Oh I am SO EXCITED! It's going to be warm today and we'll get two outdoor recesses!"

As I look out my office window and the sun is shining, I can picture both boys playing happily in the sunshine - and maybe Alex's teacher will let him take the sweatshirt off outside . . .